In Another Life
by big jiib
Summary: Nothing ever works out perfectly, but with time you can get pretty darn close. This life, the next, and the ones after it, that should be enough time.
1. Chapter 1: Uchiha Gen

There was darkness, but not really. If I think about the time before my birth, the only thing that comes up is nothing. In my head I picture pitch black emptiness, but that is something. If I think about the time after my death, I get the same result. I assume, then, that my time after death and my time before birth are one and the same, yet they still feel separate and different in my head.

I can't remember much about my previous life, just the vague sensation of living. Walking is familiar because I did it before, and so is thinking, rationalizing, and concluding. Eating, sleeping, and defecating, these are all things I did before. I could comprehend everything around me, but I know I shouldn't be able to. I understand things the baby brain shouldn't be able to handle, and it terrifies me.

There is always an itch under my skin and if I scratch it, I know that I would confess to everything. I'd tell everyone that I'm not normal, that I can think, that I do not belong in this life. But no one would believe me. I decided that it's better to be a closet lunatic than an open one.

The first few months of my life pass by in a blur. I don't know when exactly my life started, but it felt like one second I was in an eternal nothingness and the next I was crying my lungs out in the cold air. I judged elapsed time by my body's development. Slowly my jello limbs became firmer and my blurry vision cleared up, and I counted that as five months.

I was taken care of by people wearing white. The faces changed often and I never had the chance to remember any of them. They never spoke to me and I can understand why. Who would speak to a silent baby who wouldn't even gurgle?

I used to lay on my back all day until a person in white would come out of nowhere and feed me. Then just as quickly, they set me down and were off. With my pitiful lack of social interaction, my early months felt like solitary confinement. But clearly, I was not alone. My ears were constantly assaulted with the sound of wailing children and by three months, I assumed I was in an orphanage.

One day, without warning, a figure appears and hovers over me. I could tell this one is special. He wears red and black, completely unlike the white clothed people. He peers down at me, then turns to a white clothed person next to him. His voice is a deep baritone and I jump when he begins to yell at my caretaker.

The language, the words, it is all so familiar to me. I have heard it all before and I understand every sentence.

"A girl?" growls the man, "This is not my daughter. I refuse to take her."

The white clothed person speaks in a higher pitch, "The orphanage is pushing full occupancy. We simply cannot let this girl stay here if she has living family members."

They argue some more, but eventually he relents. He picks me up grudgingly and within half an hour, I am in his house. His home is quite sad, in my honest opinion. It consists of a single large room with tatami floors, a tatami table, and two futons lying in the corner, one for him and one for a woman. He doesn't speak to me and my well-being is left in the hands of the woman.

The woman is far nicer than anyone I have met in my short existence. She talks to me, plays with me, and laughs a lot too. She gives me a name: Uchiha Gen. Her stomach is swollen, and I assume she is the pregnant wife of the man. It's strange how they sleep separately, but I brush it off. I get to share her futon and snuggle into her arms, far away from the man.

The man is rarely home and at first, I like it better that way. When he is in the house, the air is suffocating and the woman is subdued. But the man leaves so often, I can't tell if ownership of the house should go to him or the woman. The woman certainly makes more use of the residence.

Shortly after I arrive, I speak my first word. It's the name of the kind woman, Maiko-chan. She looks stunned, as if she can't believe her ears. I repeat it over and over again in my bubbly baby voice and she slowly smiles. That night, she rewards me with an extra peach slice.

In truth, I have been practicing that word since the night I met Maiko. It's the only thing I can think of to show my love and appreciation for her, the woman who raises me like her own child. For weeks on end I mumbled under my breath, practicing each syllable and rolling the sounds on my clumsy tongue.

A few nights later, the man returns home. His clothes are covered in dirt and stains and he smells awfully of sweat. After a bath outside, we all have dinner together on the tatami table. As Maiko fills my bowl with baby mush, she smiles at the man and begins to praise me.

"Ryuu, a few nights ago Gen-chan spoke her first word. She's only seven months old!"

"Is that so? It's quite unfortunate that she's a girl. The battlefield could use some fresh talent."

It is the closest to a praise I have ever received from the man, now dubbed Ryuu in my head. The corners of his mouth lift briefly for me before he turns back to his food. My insides tingle pleasantly at the gesture.

After that night, Ryuu's brief visits home become a treat. The tense atmosphere I once thought was suffocating becomes a peaceful calm. His silence becomes amicable rather than deafening, and I spend every night resting by his spot on the tatami table.

Ryuu is a man of few words, and he saves all of his sentences for meaningful conversations. That's why I treasure his praises more than a thousand slices of peach.

Over the next two months, I rapidly progress. I quickly learn how to crawl, then walk. I train every day, surfing along the tatami table to strengthen my legs. Ryuu and Maiko's praise motivates me to become better.

I want to show off what I could do and feel the same warmth from the night Ryuu first praised me. I beam every time Maiko showers him with comments about my growth and achievements.

"... first words at seven months, walking at nine, and she's picking up reading so well too! She's truly amazing."

Ryuu always smiles faintly at me and ruffles my chunk of hair before leaving. The red and white fan on the back of his shirt retreating becomes a familiar sight.

Eventually, Maiko insists on me calling her okaa-san. I have no complaints. She teaches me how to read, though I already know how, and she provides paper, brushes, and ink for practicing kanji. I write poems and stories, silently boasting my intelligence until Ryuu and Maiko acknowledge me as a prodigy. I feel like I'm cheating because of my memories, but I try not to dwell on my previous life.

The itch under my skin presses for my attention when I think too much.

Maiko's favorite thing to teach me is the history of our clan.

"We are the great Uchiha clan, the only wielders of the Sharingan. Our blood is pure and rich and having just a hint of it in you makes you an Uchiha. We are the most powerful and ancient clan in the world, and you, Gen-chan, have our blood running through your veins. You are better than everyone else. We are better than everyone else."

Maiko's periodic speeches make me feel honored to be a part of such an amazing group of people. I can't help but feel my ego swell. However, there's a downside.

Humans constantly seek to overtake the top dog, it's just human nature. That's why the Uchiha have countless enemies. Even our allies hide behind treaties and deals, waiting to strike us down at the most opportune moment. The most powerful of these enemies is the Senju clan.

"Perhaps the only people that can stand against us are the Senju. Their blood is also ancient, but not pure like ours. They are corrupted, barely even human. They kill us, even our children, with no remorse."

Ryuu's prolonged absences are a result of the current war against the Senju. My blood boils with anger when I think about it. Ryuu could die at any moment. He should be home with us, eating peaches and reading my stories. He should be safe, sitting at his spot on the table. I don't know what I would do if Ryuu never came back.

When I confide my worries to Maiko, she smiles softly at me and looks at her stomach.

"Don't worry, Gen-chan, I'm going to give you a brother. He'll protect you, me, and otou-san."

I smile at her and nod, trusting in her promise.

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**A/N: I've rewritten and reuploaded chapter 1 (twice) and honestly, I still don't know where this story is going. It's all a jumbled mess in my head, so bear with me. If you read the story before this update, forget all characters and relations you learned. They're mostly irrelevant now.**


	2. Chapter 2: Uchiha Maiko

**A/N: Just a quick note for anyone coming back to the story, chapter 1 has been completely rewritten. Take a quick skim because the entire plot has changed :)**

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On my first birthday, Maiko's stomach looks ready to burst. Despite that, she leaves the house and comes back with a delicious dinner and showers me with love and affection. Ryuu is gone, but Maiko ensures me we'll celebrate more when he comes back.

For my present, Maiko gives me a mirror and a beautiful kimono.

"You're going to get a little brother soon, so you'll never have to worry about the war," she says happily. "You can focus on being beautiful and happy, because your brother will protect you."

That evening, I wear the kimono to dinner and Maiko paints my face using my new mirror. For the first time, I see my reflection and my new appearance in this life. Underneath the makeup that Maiko splatters on my face, I see sickly pale skin, most likely a result of my lack of sunlight, and large, narrow eyes.

They're nothing compared to Maiko's happy, youthful ones, but the lazy slant of my eyes gives my round, chubby face structure. The most striking part of my orbs, I think, is the deep, dark intensity of its color. My eyes are pitch black, and I'm unable to distinguish the irises from the pupils.

My hair is a dark gray color and if I was living anywhere else, I would consider it black. But sitting before Maiko and her long, jet black hair, mine looked as if it was only two shades darker than a dull gray.

The only feature I share with Maiko is my high cheekbones. Even at age one, I could see the sharp points through my baby fat. It's a trait I see on every Uchiha woman who steps through our doors, and I can't help but feel disheartened. My reflection reminds me that Maiko and Ryuu are not my parents. At best, Ryuu is an uncle and I'm not truly Maiko's daughter.

Secretly, I resent the day Maiko gives birth. That child will be Ryuu and Maiko's and no matter how smart I am, people always cherish their own blood more than others.

My mood quickly uplifts when after our dinner, Maiko takes me outside for the first time since my adoption. It is a chilly spring evening and Maiko hides me from the cold in her warm arms. There are dozens of women milling around, the only men in sight being the toddlers. I learned that day that no, I do not live in a house. I live in a single room in a massive compound, Maiko's room to be exact, and Ryuu has his own room in the barracks.

We sit under a beautiful sakura tree in the center of our district, watching the sunset. Other women come and chat with Maiko and I giggle to myself. I feel immense happiness in that one moment, looking at the beautiful orange sky and being surrounded by Maiko's embrace.

A few days later, Maiko gives birth. Ryuu is still away and I'm pushed out of the way as women from neighboring rooms come to help.

In six hours, Maiko swiftly delivers a wailing baby girl. I briefly forget about my anxieties over being replaced as I stare in wonder at the life produced by Maiko, but Maiko is visibly upset. She looks at the baby in anguish. The room is quiet, and I can hear the other women softly whispering.

"It's a girl... oh my. Ryuu's genes are going to waste."

"Okaa-san, she's so cute and squishy!" I squeal, poking the newborn's cheek.

Maiko doesn't respond.

Maiko teaches me that the reason the Uchiha are so powerful is because we produce the strongest shinobi. Our genes have been selected and refined over centuries so that today, an Uchiha is naturally stronger, faster, and smarter than any simple peasant. Of course, other old clans have noteworthy genetics too, such as the Nara or Inuzuka, but nothing comes close to the Uchiha.

Fighting is in our blood, it's bred into us. Otherwise, our clan wouldn't have survived the countless wars and conflicts from our centuries old history.

Our war against the Senju, a battle said to be as old as our clan, is currently at an impasse. The fight against the Senju is never truly over, for there has never been a legitimate treaty. There will be periods of peace, but in the end, war will always break out in a constant cycle. The Senju is the only clan worth considering our equal, and the balance of war is beginning to tip in their favor.

Our current leader, Uchiha Tajima, is the strongest shinobi in our clan. He rules with an iron, but effective, fist. Tajima believes that in order to defeat the Senju, the Uchiha must value quantity over quality. To him, a platoon of children with natural Uchiha prowess is better than a single experienced shinobi. That single shinobi can only carry out one mission and fight one enemy at a time, and if he dies, the clan loses all the resources used to train him. Children are dispensable. When they work together, they are as effective as the single shinobi and if they die, they are easily replaced.

The children who survive to adulthood are strong and in a sick way, the battlefield weeds out the kids with faulty genes. Only boys who survive to be considered grown men are given the chance to reproduce. This way, only the strongest genes are passed to the next generation and the Uchiha blood is further refined.

The idea of quantity over quality, however, requires a constant supply of children to sustain itself. This is why every couple is encouraged to send at least three sons to the barracks. Tajima himself has already given four of his sons to the war.

So when Maiko produces a daughter, she is understandably upset. Women can't join the war, and when asked why, Maiko states, "Women cannot become kunoichi. The Elders will never allow it. We are too delicate, too weak. If we are kidnapped outside of the compound, we'll be forced to bear children with the Sharingan. You don't want to see the power of a Hyuuga with the Sharingan, do you?"

I agree with her. It would be horrible if the enemy gets a hold of our most prized weapon. Looking at the frail Maiko and all the other women in the compound, I doubt any of us could defend our self against a kidnap attempt.

We're too weak.

For a week, Maiko anxiously waits for Ryuu's return. When he arrives, his normally impassive face shifts to a scowl at the sight of our newest family member. That night, after Maiko puts me to bed, she quietly begs Ryuu for another chance. Next time, she promises, he will receive a son to outshine even Tajima's offsprings.

We never celebrate my birthday.

It isn't long after that Maiko becomes pregnant again. She spends her entire pregnancy drinking special teas and medicines in hopes of rearing a male. Miyumi, my new sister, is discarded. The way Maiko dismisses her reminds me of the white clothed people in the orphanage. But Ryuu and Maiko are still proud of my excellent vocabulary, my amazing hand eye coordination, and my extraordinary maturity. Selfishly, I'm happy Miyumi has not replaced me.

In fact, Miyumi's presence only serves to make me look better. Miyumi is not a prodigy, she is not reincarnated, she's dull compared to me. Still, I love Miyumi with all my heart.

Miyumi is a happy girl and unlike me, she is oblivious to life. Her childish body holds a childish mind while my body holds a monster. It's refreshing to see innocence in a baby.

A year passes, during which Maiko begins teaching me womanly skills. I learn to sew, sing, and play the koto. Once again, I excel and Maiko is proud of my progress. Around my second birthday, Maiko gives birth again. Once again, Ryuu is at war. This time Maiko gives life to two children. Both are female.

It is said that Maiko was in such anger, such fury, that she dropped dead at the sight of her newborn babies. In reality, Maiko's seventeen year old body simply could not handle a pair of twins a year after her first childbirth.

I am heartbroken. It is horrible, the feeling of emptiness that follows the loss of Maiko. She is my mother, the first to show me kindness in this world. It sickens me to think she died in an effort to produce a boy. Miyumi should be enough. Maiko shouldn't have to try until her body breaks.

For days after her death, Maiko's disappointed, anguished face stares back at me in my dreams and for a brief moment, I'm furious at myself for not being born the boy Maiko and Ryuu so desperately want. For all their talk of my prodigious talent and rapid growth, I'm still a lowly female. The intelligence I prize so much will go towards sewing, cooking, and serving my future husband.

I barely get a chance to grieve before Ryuu returns from his latest mission. He is dirty, sweaty, and bloody, the same way he looked the night he praised me for my first words. He's furious, and at what, I don't know. He seems to be angry at everything: at his children who are the wrong gender, at his wife who could not produce a son, and at the world for bearing all this misfortune on his life. He locks himself in his room and I don't see him for three days.

It hurts me to see Ryuu's life shatter around him, to see my life shatter around me. Who will take care of me and the girls? The women around us can't be bothered to do more than feed us. Wasting too much time and resources on girls is for the weak-willed, and the Uchiha foster no weaknesses.

Ryuu is always away and he has no more relatives that I know of. I want to take my burden off his back. I don't want to be the useless girl Ryuu and Maiko so heavily despised.

It is with this thought in mind that I marched down the halls of the compound to the barracks. The shinobi eye me curiously, wondering why a toddler is walking around the soldier's quarters. Eventually, a boy, no older than ten, points me to Ryuu's room. Ryuu seems to sense me stop at his door and slides it open to let me in.

Through all of Ryuu's missions, all of his battles, and all of his baggage in the past two years, I have never seen him quite this… pathetic. His black eyes seem to wilt with the weight of his bags and the light is absent from his eyes. The glowing pale skin that once stretched across his youthful face now lay sallow and gray. His strong jaw is softened by his untamed scruff and he slouches with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"I want to become a shinobi," I state calmly. I wince at my voice- the childish sound does little to emphasize my conviction.

Ryuu stares at me for a bit then looks the other way.

"You're so mature for your age. A two year old acting like she's lived twice my lifetime," he says quietly before turning to look back at me. "Even so, you're a girl. You're physically too weak. The path of the shinobi is one I cannot allow you to take."

I look down and nod my head dejectedly. Standing there in front of Ryuu, I feel so small and insignificant. What could I contribute to the clan? I can play the koto, but what will that do? The boy who directed me to Ryuu's room is already a murderer. He's no child. They're all so strong.

I'm a mere woman. The best I can hope for is to give birth to a powerful man, one that will fight for the clan. I will give birth over and over again until my body breaks down and I die, just like Maiko. Miyumi will suffer the same fate, and so will the twins, Aiko and Nanami.

My blood boils. It's the feeling I get when Maiko talks about the Senju, when I think of Ryuu in the fields fighting for his life while I eat peach slices at the tatami table. It's not fair, but what can I do? A lot.

I am smart, far smarter than the children holding knives outside of Ryuu's room. If given the chance, I believe I can shine. I'll change the way the clan views women, and I will prove that we are useful.

They say my body is weak, but my mind is strong. I will compensate for my gender with my intelligence.

In the next life, Maiko will not need to give birth until she dies. Maiko will be happy and she will love her daughters.

With determination burning in my eyes, I look back up at the shell of a man I once called Ryuu.

In the next life, Ryuu will be a happy man. There will be kunoichi to lessen the workload, and Ryuu will be home for weeks, lazing around and eating peach slices with his family. Ryuu will laugh and he will love his daughters.

"Otou-san," I say, and Ryuu looks at me with sadness in his eyes. "I will pretend to be a boy, I will fight, and I will end the war. I am a girl, but I am still an Uchiha. The blood that runs through my veins is the same as the one running through Tajima's. It's the same blood soaked into the battlegrounds, and it is the same blood that will slaughter all of our enemies. Please otou-san, give me a chance."

Ryuu stares at me for a few moments in silence.

I don't know if it was the heat of the moment, my speech, Ryuu's weary state, or my devotion to the power of the Uchiha but—

"I will talk to Tajima-sama."

The next day, I awake to a summons from Tajima. The messenger guides me to Tajima's office and I can't help but feel anxious to hear his decision. Gradually, the creaky wooden floors become polished mahogany and the chatter of gossiping women melt into the hushed whispers of the elite. Tajima's office is in the center of the compound, right in the middle of the noble district. This area houses the most important members of the clan, including the family of the clan head, the Elders, and privileged visitors. It's a completely different world in this part of the compound, and I feel as if I'm dirtying the perfectly shiny floors with my shoes.

When we arrive at Tajima's door, the messenger knocks twice before ushering me in.

Tajima's office is spartan compared to the surrounding area. The noble district is decorated with jade and gold sculptures, massive bonsai, and elaborate paintings. In contrast, Tajima's office holds a simple desk, a map, brushes, ink, and more scrolls than I can count. Well, I probably can count them, but it would take a while.

I bow low before asking, "Tajima-sama, you requested my presence?"

"Yes. Ryuu-san came to me last night asking to train you in the ways of the kunoichi," Tajima looks at the little girl before him. She is two years old, the same age as his youngest son, Izuna. Izuna is yet to be potty trained, and this slip of a girl before him wants to throw herself into the war? "Ryuu-san is one of my best shinobi, and this is a favor I am granting him in wake of his recent tragedies."

The tragedies include the birth of two more daughters.

"I will allow you to train with the other new trainees, given that you hide your gender. My men will be outraged to find a two year old girl fighting alongside them. Know that I have little faith in you, but Ryuu-san assured me that you are a prodigy. Should you exceed my expectations, I will consider allowing you to continue down the path of the kunoichi. Do you understand?"

"Yes Tajima-sama. I will not disappoint you."

"Hn. Report to the barracks tomorrow at the crack of dawn. You may go."

I bow one last time and turn around. I quietly leave the room with my heart pounding in my chest. The entire walk back to Maiko's quarter, my face gives nothing away. Tajima does not believe I will succeed. His words are meant to deter me, to sting me in the right places and destroy my confidence. Instead, they fuel the fire in my heart.

In the next life, Tajima will beg me to join the shinobi forces.

When I finally enter the room, Miyumi, Aiko and Nanami look at me and laugh at the loud noise the sliding door made. I laugh too, feeling the tension leave my body. It's a room full of babies, all laughing just to laugh, the way it's supposed to be.

In the next life, this will be a normal occurrence. Maiko and Ryuu will be here too, laughing along.

For them, for Maiko, for all the women trapped in the compound, I will free them all.

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**A/N: Quite dramatic. It's kind of hard to write in Gen's perspective because she's a kid but she's not a kid. She's brainwashed but she's also subconsciously influenced *cough* by ideals from her previous life. I don't know.**


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